How to find balance

So I faced the scale today after about 3 weeks.  I have gained 4 lbs...I am still under 190 but gained.  Why have I gained.  Because at the end of the day...I can keep track of what I eat and I can eat healthy...but then I get a thought in my head about something I haven't had in awhile...and I undo everything.  I wish I could find a good strategy to indulge in moderation.  If I tell myself no...eventually I go nuts and eat like a crazy person.  If I let myself eat...sometimes I don't have the shut off button.  And...there are times when I know it will be good...and I really don't care what it will undo until I weigh myself and feel bad.  I feel like the secret is balance.  I can't imagine that the rest of my life needs to be lived eating healthy, exercising and never having something that I love to have every once in awhile...but I feel like I will continue to struggle until I find that balance between being healthy and allowing myself some treats...does anyone have some great strategies for balance?